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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25823773">Touch</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshpageonthedesk/pseuds/freshpageonthedesk'>freshpageonthedesk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops &amp; Cafés, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Clexa, F/F, Lincoln &amp; Lexa Friendship (The 100), Octavia Blake &amp; Clarke Griffin Friendship, Soulmates, Soulmates Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Student Clarke, Writer Lexa (The 100)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:15:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25823773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshpageonthedesk/pseuds/freshpageonthedesk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>People can't touch each other. Only their soulmate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clarke Griffin &amp; Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>412</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Touch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>“The same as always,”</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>she asked, with that smirk around her lips that had boys falling on their knees for her. In the very beginning, Lincoln had admired her too, just a tiny bit, because it was simply impossible not to melt a little inside when Lexa Woods ordered a raspberry flavored latte in your café. It wasn’t exactly the kind of Crush thing they wrote novels about, but Lincoln definitely wouldn’t have minded if Lexa would have been the Touch for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wasn’t. And if she would have been, she wouldn’t have stayed with him. Everyone who had ever actually <em>talked</em> to Lexa knew that she was looking for a girl, and would prefer staying alone over a relationship with a boy. So Lincoln prepared her lattes with perfectionist milk drawings in the thick layers of foam, and Lexa told him about the books she was writing, and as her visits became more numerous and their conversations more profound, they decided that they would go through life as best friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You weren’t here yesterday,” Lexa noted as she watched him pour milk into her cup with a focused look on his face. Today’s pattern was a dragonfly, he’d decided, with long small wings of a rare elegance – a little like Lexa. Satisfied with the end result, he put the finished latte on a tray and shoved it towards Lexa over the bar. She waited for him to draw his hands back before she took the cup and used it to warm up her cold hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, contrary to you, I <em>do</em> take a day off sometimes,” Lincoln said mysteriously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa studied him over the rim of her cup while she took a long sip. “You had a date, didn’t you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln licked his lips, wondering why this woman could see through him so well. “Maybe,” he decided. “And I guess <em>you</em> have started another book?”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gave him one of those deep, estimating, <em>don’t try to avoid the subject</em>-looks. “That’s not nearly as important as the date, Lincoln. Tell me about her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He rested his elbows on the bar, the smile he was trying to hide slowly spreading across his face. “Her name is Octavia. I met her on Saturday, she was shopping in the city with her best friend and they came in for a drink. I don’t know what it was, she just looked at me and…” He sighed deeply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa shook her head, grinning. “God, Lincoln, you’re so cheesy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s the influence of your books,” he argued back. “No, seriously, do you know this feeling when you see a girl and you just feel like everything about her is right and you start talking and you can’t stop smiling and you get a feeling that she might like you back, but then you get scared because what if you touch her and she turns out not to be… <em>it</em>. You know that feeling?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” Lexa mumbled, without looking up from her coffee. “If she’s not your Touch, then she won’t be right for you anyway, so why worry about that.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sometimes I do wonder if you have feelings at all,” Lincoln complained, while he returned to his coffee machines to serve other customers. When he was done, Lexa thoughtfully licked her spoon and neatly put it next to her cup.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t think there is such a thing as <em>feelings</em> for someone who’s not your Touch,” she said. “I mean, I did think I felt something for Costia at the time and I did hope that she would be the one. But what’s the point of longing for someone if you can’t have her anyway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The recollection of that moment with Costia was more painful than Lexa wanted to admit. They’d been to the movies, on a real date with a lot of laughter and sharing popcorn and all that stuff. It wasn’t an accidental touch – they’d been careful to avoid skin contact for weeks – and it was supposed to be the most magical moment of their lives. The romantic street lights had turned into destroying flames after their hands met for a brief moment, a soft caressing that ended in burning pain like electricity shooting through them. Somehow, the pain had been worse with Costia than with any other person Lexa had touched, perhaps because she’d so naively fixated her hopes on her. Ever since, Lexa was more the “first touch then get to know”-type of person, which resulted in a lot of burns, a dishearteningly low amount of dates, and, as some people would call it, a heart colder than ice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just don’t know what to do,” Lincoln sighed. “Partly I really want to find out. I’m mad about her…” – he wisely ignored Lexa’s wrinkled eyebrow – “…but I also don’t want to have my heart broken again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It will break either way,” Lexa mentioned. “But it’s your choice,” she added hastily when she saw her friend’s annoyed expression.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Her best friend was also cute, though,” he noted in order to change the subject. “Some blonde girl named Clarke, I didn’t pay much attention to her, but she seemed to be the type of girl you’d like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You should stop trying to set me up with someone.” Lexa finished her coffee and put the empty cup back on the tray for Lincoln to take.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look, I know the last two weren’t your thing,” he started, but he was cut off by Lexa meaningfully raising her eyebrows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not my thing? They were <em>disastrous</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln pursed his lips. “This one is not a drug addict and not a creepy stalker, I promise. And on the bright side, you did get some marvelous story ideas out of them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She couldn’t counter that remark, so she decided to end the discussion there and pretended to look at her watch. “That’s about ten minutes of my time you’ve wasted, Lincoln. I’m going back to doing useful things.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew her well enough not to take her jests personally, so he greeted her and went back to work, though watching her out of the corner of his eye. Ever since Lexa came here to write her books, they’d created a calm corner by the window with just one table that was permanently marked with a “reserved” sign. It wasn’t really a measure to keep her fans away – only very few people knew which face belonged to the name <em>Lexa Woods</em> – but she was one of those people who could really enjoy the silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His thoughts were chased away by the sound of the little doorbell ringing. Lincoln’s heart leapt up when he saw Octavia coming in, a bright smile plastered to her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, you,” she said, leaning over the bar where Lexa had just been sitting. “I was around and I thought I’d drop by to say hi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi,” Lincoln said, grinning widely. Still from the corner of his eye, he could see Lexa observing the scene. When he eyed her, she gave him a teasing thumbs-up and then bowed over her laptop. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want to drink something from me?” Lincoln asked, already taking a cup.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, but no. My friend is waiting outside, we were actually going to lunch together, so I don’t want to keep her up for too long.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln glanced at the door and indeed caught a glimpse of blonde hair. From where he was standing, it looked as if Clarke was reading something on her phone. He leaned closer towards Octavia. “To lunch, huh,” he repeated with a shy smile, hoping this would give him a chance to ask her out again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes.” Octavia’s smirk became a little wider. “Why, are you jealous?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He playfully raised his eyebrows. “Should I be?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia burst out laughing. “Oh, no, not at all. Clarke might be into girls, but she only has eyes for that writer, you know, Woods or something. I’m no competition for that woman.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” Lincoln stepped back, his jaw dropping. Octavia’s happy smile quickly made place for a concerned frown.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>I’m</em> not into girls,” she explained hastily. “Look, Clarke and I have been friends for a very long time, we-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh no, don't worry, that’s not what I mean.” Lincoln nodded at the corner of the café, where Lexa was now completely caught up in her writing. “Does that woman over there ring a bell to you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia gasped, then looked at him with wide eyes. “Oh my god, that’s her. Clarke would freak out if she…” She glanced at the door, where Clarke was still scrolling through her phone, not aware of the situation. “Do you know her?” Octavia urgently whispered to Lincoln.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Know</em> her?” Now it was Lincoln’s turn to laugh. “She’s my best friend. She comes here every day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia still stood there perplex, not quite knowing what to do. Lincoln smiled. “I don’t think she minds if you bring in your friend to talk to her for a bit.” <em>So that I can keep talking to you,</em> he thought, but he didn’t say that part out loud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, trust me, she <em>will</em> mind once she meets her,” Octavia said. “If I say freak out, I mean <em>freak out</em>. And make a complete fool of herself. She’s been obsessed with that woman for over three years, can you imagine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln bit his lip. “Ah. I promised Lexa this one wouldn’t be a creepy stalker,” he mumbled, rather to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing.” He nodded towards the door. “I think we have a problem.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke came in at that very moment, looking immensely bored and perhaps also a little irritated. Octavia hurried over to her friend and flung her arm around her shoulders – which was a safe thing to do as there were enough layers of clothes in between them – then subtly turned the blonde away from the corner where Lexa was sitting. “Hey Clarke,” she said in an overly enthusiastic manner. “I’m coming with you in a second, I was just about to say goodbye to Lincoln.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke pushed her arm away, giving her a weird look. “You’re really creepy when you’re in love, you know that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not in love,” Octavia mumbled, her cheeks turning pink. She glanced at Lincoln, who was preparing a cappuccino and waved at her with a sweet smile. It didn’t help the blushing when she waved back, shyly biting her lip. She didn’t even notice the look on Clarke’s face until they were both back on the street, out of the café, safely away from Lexa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If that’s not <em>in love</em>, then I don’t know what is,” Clarke remarked. She walked past Octavia, her hands deeply buried in the pockets of her long winter coat and her chin resting on the soft fabric of her scarf. Her friend followed her, almost skipping in her attempts to keep up with the blonde’s quick pace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Octavia asked. She hadn’t seen her like this before; sad and bitter. Usually Clarke was the happy one who always looked on the bright side of life and could cheer someone up in less than a minute.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing,” the blonde girl murmured.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, come on.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright.” She sighed and stopped walking, then lifted her eyes to the sky as she spoke. “Please don’t take this as jealousy. I’m not jealous and I’m very happy that you met Lincoln, he seems really nice. It’s just… you know how I’m always the one who believes in the Touch and who tells other people to have faith and patience after their heart got broken?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia nodded – she’d been “other people” a fair amount of times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, recently I feel like everyone around me is finding their one true love and living their perfect fairy tale, while look at me, all I do is reading and running a pathetic fanpage about some woman who doesn’t even know I exist.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia gulped, suddenly feeling guilty that she had dragged Clarke away from Lexa. But if the author was indeed Lincoln’s friend, they could still set up a meeting – it would just be better for both of them if Clarke would be mentally prepared to meet her all-time idol. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I mean, it’s not as if I don’t believe the things I say to other people,” Clarke went on. “I know my time will come, but, you know, Bellamy has Echo, Raven has Anya, even that idiot of a Jasper now found his Touch in that Maya girl. They would deny it, but honestly, how much do we still see them? Sometimes it feels as if we’re not enough anymore just because they found their soulmates. And now you with Lincoln – I  really can’t lose you too, O. You mean way too much to me for that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke.” Octavia’s voice almost broke, feeling touched by these words of her best friend. This was one of the moments that she really wanted to hug her – when they were younger, they often gave hugs, but at some point they got fed up with the accidental burns that occurred in eight of the ten cases. The older you got, the more painful the burns became. So they’d switched to a non-touching friendship the day they went to high school. “You really won’t lose me. You’re my best friend.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks,” Clarke said faintly, but she didn’t sound too convinced. She started to walk again, but stopped after a few steps when she noticed that her friend wasn’t following her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia bit her lip. “Clarke, uh…” She nervously scratched her neck, wondering if this would be the right time to tell her. But then this girl’s absolute <em>idol</em> was sitting in a café just around the corner, who was she to take this away from her. “Lincoln told me about this friend he has. I think you should meet her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why, is she also a pathetic bookworm like me?” Clarke asked with mild interest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You could say.” Octavia smiled mysteriously. “Shall we go back?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke gave her a not-understanding look, head slightly tilted to the right. “Why now? What about our lunch?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because. It will brighten up your day, I promise.”</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Clarke was still looking angry</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>when they returned to the café, thinking this was merely some idea of Octavia to get rid of her friend’s whining and to get to spend some more time with Lincoln. Clarke knew they hadn’t Touched yet, but to her it was pretty obvious that the handsome café-owner would be the right person for her. The look in Octavia’s eyes said it all. It was the same look she’d seen with Raven and Bellamy, right before they touched their soulmates and felt nothing but skin. According to Raven, it was a very different sensation from touching your own skin, something that couldn’t be described but needed to be felt. Lexa did a way better job in picturing the idea of Touching, even though she claimed not to have experienced it herself. She relied entirely on interviews with soulmate couples and based her writings on their stories. But she’d also written some highly controversial novels about non-soulmate couples; people who spent their lives together but couldn’t touch each other. Before she met Anya, Raven had been a huge supporter of these kind of relationships (in high school, she’d even kissed a boy. They both couldn’t feel their lips for days and Raven said it was pretty gross, but she was really that type of person).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sunk in thoughts as she was, Clarke merely plopped down on a chair by the bar next to Octavia and didn’t realize both she and Lincoln were staring at her expectantly. “What?” she asked, when it had been quiet for a good minute.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look around,” Octavia said, a smirk on her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t ge-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just <em>look around</em>.” This time, Octavia had ordered a mint-flavored tea, in which she was now absent-mindedly stirring while she waited patiently for her friend’s panicked gasp.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke almost knocked over her own smoothie as she ducked behind Octavia for coverage, which didn’t make any sense because the famous author had no clue who she was, but still.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god,” she blurted out. “That’s <em>her</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know. I told you this wouldn’t be a disappointment.” Octavia quickly took the smoothie away since Clarke didn’t seem ready to pull herself together yet. The blonde’s cheeks flushed redder than the cherry in her smoothie and she desperately slammed her fist on the bar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Octavia, that’s freaking <em>Lexa Woods</em> sitting there. Oh my god, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“First you <em>relax,</em>” Octavia instructed calmly. “And then you go to her, tell her you’re a fan, try to pick up a conversation, and see how it goes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t go there and pick up a conversation,” Clarke squeaked, in a voice several tones higher than her usual voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, <em>this</em> is why we should start with the relaxing.” Octavia rolled her eyes to Lincoln, who was laughing with the scene in front of them. “I told you she’d freak out,” she said with a smirk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not freaking out,” Clarke objected, back in her normal voice. “I’m just… oh my god, I’m not ready for this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln glanced at the clock. “Well, you have about five minutes to get ready before she packs up her stuff and leaves for lunch.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, alright, alright.” The blonde hopped off her chair, a little too confidently because the panic immediately hit her again when the bestselling author and her laptop came back into view. She didn’t move.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Octavia asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know what to say.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her friend sighed dramatically. “Open your fanpage account. You’ll find about three hundred posts in which you declare your love for her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Two hundred and eighty-five,” Clarke corrected, with an annoyed wrinkle in her eyebrow. “And that’s exactly the opposite of what I need right now – I need to look cool.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look, I know Lexa well, she isn’t that scary,” Lincoln interfered. “Just talk about her books and you’ll be fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right. Books. I can do that.” Clarke took a sharp inhale of air, then headed straight towards the corner, ignoring Octavia saying: “Yeah, it would be a shame if she couldn’t, she’s read them all six times in both directions.”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa was in the middle of an important scene and therefore didn’t look up until Clarke had approached her table. The writer gave her a slightly annoyed look, this not being the right time to be disturbed, but her eyes softened when they saw someone who was obviously a fan. Reddish cheeks, eyes avoiding to look at her directly, knuckles turning white as they were pinching the purse they were clasping onto, this girl was in the first place very, <em>very</em> cute. Lexa pressed her lips together trying not to smile as she waited for the fan to say something, but since the blonde girl seemed to be lost for words, she shut her laptop and smiled anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi,” she said. “Can I do something for you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh – hi,” Clarke stammered. “No – yes. I mean, uh…” Her knuckles now turned even whiter. Desperately, she tried to remember what Octavia had suggested. “I’m a fan,” she blundered out, as if that wasn’t clear already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa chuckled. “Well, hello, <em>a fan</em>, I’m Lexa. Nice to meet you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke bit her lip. “I’m Clarke,” she corrected herself. “The pleasure is mine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Clarke</em>. The name made Lexa’s heart skip a beat – <em>wasn’t this the girl Lincoln had tried to point out to her? </em>After a quick glance at Lincoln, who was caught up in a conversation with Octavia and didn’t notice there were customers waiting for him, she decided this must indeed be her. <em>Well, she do be cute</em>, Lexa thought as she gestured at the chair in front of her. “Well, Clarke, take a seat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke did as she said, putting her purse down next to her and folding her hands on the table instead. Now that she wasn’t clutching her bag anymore, Lexa could see how hard she was shaking. It didn’t happen often that she met someone who was a fan of <em>her </em>rather than her books, but she did be experienced in putting people at ease.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, Clarke,” she said, with another smile. “What gives me the honor of having you as a fan?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, all of your books, really,” Clarke said in a steadier voice, happy to have something to talk about. “I adore your style. It’s so… expressive. As if you’re watching a movie rather than reading a book.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” Lexa crossed her arms, a satisfied smirk on her face. “Good. That’s what I’m aiming for.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, and emotional,” Clarke went on, moving to the tip of her chair as her tone gained in enthusiasm. “I mean, <em>A Violent Separation?</em> I actually cried my eyes out there, but <em>god</em>, it’s my favorite book on the planet. I have no clue how you can be this good with words, you know, you can just picture certain things or feelings in a way that is so <em>accurate</em> that it makes me want to tattoo those words on my forehead for everyone to see how I feel.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa laughed, adoring the way this girl got caught up in her speaking, richly using hand gestures to emphasize her superlatives. It was as if she’d stepped into one of her stories and met one of her favorite characters; the overly enthusiastic, slightly chaotic types with a heart of gold. <em>Oh god, she was so cute.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, this is where you write?” Clarke asked, looking around the café as if this was the first time she set foot in it. Her cheeks had turned a brighter shade of pink and she was back to trembling, apparently embarrassed about the monologue she’d just blurted out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Lexa answered. “And thank you for enjoying my work. Those things you said mean a lot to me, especially if it comes from an intellectual like you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her compliment made Clarke beam, which was so cute that Lexa had to bite her lip in order to stop herself from grinning. She just wanted to keep this girl talking and smiling and watch her forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you write?” Lexa asked, casually curling a lock of hair around her finger in a way that made Clarke almost faint. She probably shouldn’t flirt with shy and anxious fans, but how could she not when the girl sitting opposite her was this pretty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“N-no,” Clarke stammered, trying to ignore the hair curling while all she could think was <em>oh my god, oh my god, this can’t be real, oh my god I can’t handle this</em>. “I mean, I did try in the past, but I’m not nearly as good as I’d like to be and so yeah I got fed up with reading my own disastrous failures that no one is waiting for anyway so I decided to stick with reading instead.” Clarke inhaled sharply, suddenly realizing that she hadn’t been breathing for a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa smirked. “I bet it’s not that bad. Every writer thinks less of their own work than others do.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Even you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wasn’t satisfied with <em>A Violent Separation</em> when I finished it. I kept seeing things that I could have done better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke gasped, her jaw dropping. “That book is <em>a godforsaken masterpiece</em>,” she exclaimed. “I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop it, you’re making me blush,” Lexa said, a remark that above all made Clarke blush even harder. The brunette picked up her bag, filled with notes and manuscripts and a very secret version of her newest book that wouldn’t come out for another month. She’d never done this before and it made her feel rather nervous, but when she glanced at Clarke over the rim of her reading glasses, she felt okay to do this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you good at keeping secrets?” she asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Clarke said immediately. “I mean, to be able to spill secrets, people must first be interested in me, and most people aren’t, so.” <em>God, how awkward can you be, </em>Clarke thought to herself, mentally hiding under the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa merely smirked and put her new book on the table as if it wasn’t a big deal, while carefully observing Clarke’s widening eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is that…” The blonde’s voice died away, her finger hovering in mid-air pointing at the book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My newest book, yes,” Lexa confirmed, opening it on the first page. “Given the fact that I highly value your feedback, I’d like you to read it and tell me what you think about it.” She picked up a pen and wrote a little message in the top corner, then put her autograph underneath and closed the book again. When she shoved it over the table to Clarke, the blonde immediately reached out to it, her hands treating the cover as if it were golden. Lexa hadn’t pulled her own hand back yet, and rather accidentally than intentionally, her little finger came close to Clarke’s thumb. The spark they felt made them both withdraw their hands, knowing they’d come too close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa couldn’t help but feel disappointed as she massaged the electricity out of her finger. She’d never liked a girl this much on the first impression as this short blonde with the blue eyes and the shaking hands. Clarke, on her part, looked fairly panicked. “Sorry,” she said hastily, not really knowing what she was apologizing for, as the touching had been Lexa’s fault rather than hers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, <em>I’m</em> sorry.” Lexa hurried to pack up her stuff, suddenly in urgent need for some outside air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-” Clarke started, but she didn’t really know where that sentence was going. She was still clutching the copy of the new book, which now felt a lot heavier in her hands. <em>Was she supposed to give it back after this happened?</em> No, that didn’t make any sense. There was only one person in the world that Lexa could touch without getting burned, so chances were depressingly small that it would have been her. She was just a fan, that’s that. But Lexa’s change in behavior was striking. <em>So had she actually been </em>flirting<em> with her? </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s late,” Lexa said when she was done packing. “I’m afraid I need to go – for lunch, you know. Sorry, it has nothing to do with you. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the book. I, uh, I see you around to hear your thoughts about it, you now know where to find me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” was all Clarke could utter before Lexa turned around and left her behind at the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t make it far before she came to a halt again, though, and when Clarke followed her gaze, she could see why.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia and Lincoln were both leaning as far over the bar as they could, their lips pressed together in a kiss that would change their lives forever.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>“Clarke, listen to me. I’m sorry.”</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Clarke was sunk into the passenger seat, her temple leaning against the window, not having said a word since Octavia got in. Her copy of Lexa’s <em>Friend Request </em>was safely hidden under her coat, the words Lexa had written on the first page echoing through her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>For Clarke, because special people deserve special treatments.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I hope you’ll send me a friend request if you like this.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, I wasn’t skipping out on you. It just happened and I couldn’t just run away, I…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” Clarke interrupted, sighing. “I’m happy for you.” She wasn’t upset because she was now the only person in her group of friends who hadn’t found her Touch yet, nor because she’d spent the last hour alone in a corner with a sandwich that was probably good, but tasted bitter to her. She <em>did</em> be upset because she couldn’t help but think that Lexa might have liked her before the burn had chased her away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Life would have been so perfect if Lexa had been her Touch. Imagine waking up next to her, imagine being able to kiss those perfect lips, imagine her holding your hand and looking at you as if you meant the world to her.</em> Unwillingly, Clarke hit her fist on the armrest in frustration. <em>It wasn’t fair.</em> <em>Why could all her friends fall in love with the first proper Crush they had and was she left admiring a woman that was so, so far away from her?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, you mean so much to me. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even have met Lincoln. We’re not going to spend less time together because of this, <em>I promise</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke glanced at her best friend in the seat next to her, whose lips were pouting and whose eyes were watery. She gave her a sad smile. “Lexa is not my Touch,” she murmured, because she couldn’t think of anything else and she really needed to let that out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you think she would be?” Octavia asked, eyebrows raised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.” Clarke buried her hands under her armpits, sinking deeper into the warmth of her scarf. “But at least she <em>could </em>have been. Now I’m certain that she isn’t.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, <em>Clarke</em>.” Octavia wrapped her hands around Clarke’s upper arm and gave her a comforting squeeze that she would be able to feel through her winter clothes. Somehow that was too much for Clarke and a single tear rolled over her cheek. She fiercely wiped it away, but more tears followed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It went really well,” she sniffed. “Or at least, she was really kind and sweet and all <em>oh my god I’m talking to Lexa</em>, and I was making a total fool of myself but she didn’t seem to mind. And then there was that stupid burn, I don’t even know how it happened, but it was there and it ruined everything.” She closed her eyes because her vision was blurry anyway, and leaned her head back against her headrest. “I don’t know which person will ever be better than her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ll find her,” Octavia soothed. “That’s what you told me, and you were right.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, but you weren’t head over heels in love with Atom. I don’t know what more I can do to make me a goddamn soulmate for someone.” Again, she wiped away her tears, then let out a shivery sigh. “I’m sorry that I’m ruining this for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re not.” Her friend gave her another squeeze. “I told you I’d be there for you and I will be. What do you think about a good action movie to clear your head?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke gave her a small smile. “If there was a Touching thing for best friends, you’d definitely be mine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Octavia grinned and put on Clarke’s favorite album while they drove to their home village a little out of the city. She started singing in a muffled voice, although the more she got Clarke to smile, the louder she started to sing, and in the end they were both screaming the words to the songs - choruses <em>and</em> background voices - while Clarke kept Lexa’s book safely pressed against her heart. </p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Never before had it been so hard to write</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>as Lexa’s mind kept wandering to that girl she’d trusted with her new book. She’d put the idea of any relationship with Clarke out of her head, knowing damn well that you shouldn’t get too attached to someone you couldn’t have, no matter how much you liked them. Still, she couldn’t help but think about her, about that pretty round face and the pretty blue eyes and the pretty blonde hair and her adorable shyness. In many ways, Clarke was even more suited for her than Costia had been. It was simply frustrating that fate kept torturing her with these girls that she could effortlessly fall in love with, whereas her real soulmate was nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a sigh, she closed the tab she was working on and opened a new one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I met a girl today in the café.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>One moment I was writing, the next she was there. Just there. Talking and smiling as if she’d always been there, while I was listening to her and I couldn’t think of anything else but how much I liked this girl. I didn’t know what it was, but everything just felt right.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She was perfect.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I miss her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But I can’t miss her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She’s not my Touch.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She closed her laptop and sighed again, knowing that this evening wouldn’t lead to anything productive. Her phone lying next to her computer mouse reminded her of something she needed to do, but wasn’t looking forward to. It was never fun to see one of your friends finding their soulmate, especially not if that friend used to be the person you could gush to about how you wanted your Touch to be. But with Lincoln, she didn’t want to make the mistake she’d made with her former friends. He was far too important for that. So she called him and waited for his voice to answer the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lex. Hi.” He sounded cheerful. <em>Of course</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She made her heart into a stone and produced a smile. “Hey. I suppose it’s needless to ask how you’re doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god, Lex,” he blurted out, not holding it any longer. “It’s everything you thought it would be, but then better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I don’t doubt that.” She pressed her lips into a tight line and tried not to think about Clarke, or about how it would feel if she would be able to kiss her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You seemed to have a good time too, though,” he said teasingly. “Didn’t I tell you she was cute?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, forget about that, it’s not her.” Lexa sighed and plopped onto her sofa, then wrapped herself up in a blanket. This was one of those perfect nights for a good action movie and an XL bag of chips – depressing nausea guaranteed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn’t for real touch her on your first encounter, did you?” Lincoln asked, his voice shocked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was an accident.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Knowing you, you only made it <em>look</em> like an accident.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm serious, Lincoln,” Lexa said, a little irritated. “You were right, I really liked her. She’s that type of girl I would risk another broken heart for by going through all those dates just because I want it to be special if she would happen to be my Touch. But she’s not, so I can save myself the trouble.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I really hoped it might be her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay. You know how I think about it; not worth crying over.” She played with the corner of her blanket, gulping as the lump in her throat clearly had different thoughts. <em>What was happening to her? Couldn’t she just move on like she’d decided to do ever since Costia destroyed her?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ll still need to be friends with her, though,” Lincoln murmured. “Octavia’s really close to her and I would hate it if she would have to give that up for me, so she’ll probably be around a lot.” After a short pause, he added: “And <em>I</em> also don’t want to give up on <em>you</em>, so.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa scoffed. “Is this supposed to be cute?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They both chuckled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I can be friends with her,” Lexa said after a while. “I’d <em>love </em>to be friends with her, actually. She’s really nice.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look at you. You <em>do</em> have feelings,” Lincoln grinned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut up, you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He giggled, like actually <em>giggling</em>. Lexa rolled her eyes, which he luckily couldn’t see through the phone. “You do have to introduce me to this Octavia girl some time. According to how you’re behaving, she really must be special.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln waited a second before he mumbled: “Yeah, she is.”</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Clarke slept on her couch that night,</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>the book still in the spot on her lap where it had been when she’d finally fallen asleep. She’d finished it in one go, completely absorbed in the story, not caring about time as the world around her gradually became darker and her stomach emptier. It was one of those beautiful love stories that only Lexa could write, sometimes ending happily and sometimes ending with a tragedy that had you crying yourself to sleep, but every single one of them staying with you forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she put the book onto Lexa’s permanent table in the café a little past midday, hesitantly and with nerves rushing through her body because she didn’t know if Lexa wanted to see her, she felt as if she’d returned from a whole other world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa shut her laptop and motioned her to sit down, then folded her arms on the table. “You read fast, I must say.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m trained.” Clarke neatly hung her coat over the back of her chair and sat down, her face blank because she wanted to keep the author in suspense for a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what did you think?” Lexa asked slowly, knowing damn well what Clarke was doing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well.” The blonde girl studied her fingernails, carefully avoiding eye contact. This time there was no shaking, as she’d carefully revised this conversation earlier that morning. “I was wondering how <em>you </em>felt about this book. You know, since you said you can’t assess your own work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa nervously licked her lips, shifting her weight in her chair. “Uh, I don’t think it’s my best, but… I was quite happy with this one, yeah. I don’t know.” She glanced at Clarke, who was still not giving anything away. Her heart sank a little in her chest and she sadly turned her eyes down.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then Clarke started to chuckle. “So you <em>do</em> doubt your own stories. I wonder why, given that you write the best books in the universe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa let out a relieved sigh. “So you liked it?” she asked hopefully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I <em>adored</em> it. This is definitely my new favorite. The only thing I hate about it, is that I won’t be able to first-read it again when it comes out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa thoughtfully traced the edge of the table with her finger. “In that case, I guess I could also find myself some other pilot readers for my next books.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke bit her lip. “Well, naturally it’s not <em>that</em> much of a problem…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The brunette chuckled, then got up. At first Clarke feared that she was going to run away again, but this time she didn’t pack her things. “What do you drink from me?” Lexa asked, smirking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, no, you really don’t have to…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I do. See, I’m looking for an excuse to keep you here. But if that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can pay next time,” she said with a wink that gave Clarke butterflies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde girl couldn’t hold back her smile when she said: “In that case you can do me a hazelnut flavored cappuccino, please.”</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>They talked for a long time,</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>and when their drinks were finished, Lexa suggested to take a walk in the city together. She learned that Clarke was a law student, about to graduate since she only needed to finish her thesis, and worked part-time in an ice cream parlor on weekend days. Clarke, for her part, fired all the questions she’d been accumulating for years – where Lexa got her inspiration for her characters, what her favorite books were, which type of music she liked, if she’d ever considered writing movie scripts. Even though they had quite different lifestyles, they discovered that they also had a lot in common. As they strolled the small gravel paths of Lexa’s favorite park, the ground under their feet painted with the decaying blanket of leaves that was left from autumn, they both completely forgot about their miserable feelings from the day before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa had thought Clarke was interesting from the very first second they met, but it totally blew her away when she listened to the student’s insights on the deeper things in life – although of course they both carefully avoided the sensitive subject of the Touch. Clarke was the type of person that didn’t make you automatically nod your head in agreement with some uninteresting story while your mind was only thinking about what you would have for dinner. She was the type of girl that made you <em>think</em>, that made you see things differently, and that filled your memory with sayings you tried to remember so that you could write them down later. Clarke was like a book, but then better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you for the coffee. And for all the rest,” the blonde girl said when they returned to Lincoln’s café. The bartender meaningfully raised his eyebrows when he saw the two girls coming in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look at that, if that isn’t Lexa Woods taking a day off,” he teased.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Half</em> a day,” Lexa corrected. Involuntarily, she glanced at the girl next to her, whose cheeks were painted in that cute pink blush and whose lips were smirking happily. Her heart made an entire somersault in her chest at the sight of her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want another drink?” Lexa asked, not wanting this perfect day to be over already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke was about to agree when Lincoln interrupted her by pointing at a table by the toilets. “I’m afraid that there are people waiting for you, miss Griffin.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke’s face lit up when she recognized Raven and Bellamy, for once without their girlfriends, sitting opposite a beaming Octavia. <em>Of course Octavia had set this up for her</em>, Clarke thought happily. Back as in the good old days.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry,” she excused herself to Lexa. “They’re my friends. I haven’t seen them in a long time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, of course, no problem.” Lexa gave her a friendly smile. “I had a good day today, though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me too.” Clarke gave her one of those warm smiles that Lexa could write pages about. “A <em>really</em> good day.” She shyly bit her lip. “And I still owe you a coffee.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Another time,” Lexa said with a wink. Then, she couldn’t contain herself and slightly brushed Clarke’s shoulder, just because she really wanted to touch her. The blonde pursed her lips and then impulsively flung her arms around Lexa, careful to avoid any touching of skin. Lexa returned the hug a little hesitantly, her arms sweet and comfortable around Clarke’s waist. It was a really soft, withheld embrace, disturbed by winter coats and scarfs, but it still felt oh so good to give in to one another’s warmth for a carefree moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bye,” Clarke whispered before she let go, then she hastily straightened her coat and hurried to her friends. Lexa watched her happily greeting them, until she realized that Lincoln was looking at her weirdly. She took off her scarf and plopped down on her chair by the bar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So I take it you two get along well,” Lincoln noted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Lexa sighed while she buried her face into the soft, woolen fabric of her scarf. “And I’m desperately, head over heels in love with her.” </p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>“I feel betrayed,”</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven complained when Clarke took place opposite her. “We haven’t been getting hugs from you for years and this woman you’ve only known for a day gets one without even asking for it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why, are my hugs that good?” Clarke grinned. “Be careful about what you say, I have Anya’s number.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, you dork, I just miss you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We all do,” Bellamy added with a wink, before he got up to get Clarke a drink – <em>a smoothie, I don’t care which one, just pick something</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s not really my fault,” Clarke remarked as she picked up a beer mat to give her hands something to do. She could use some distraction, since Lexa was still sitting by the bar and it was hard not to stare at her all the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That girl, though,” Raven said, guessing Clarke’s thoughts as she too glanced at the bar over her shoulder and softly whistled through her teeth. “Now I get why you’re so obsessed with her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Raven,” Octavia warned, while giving her a kick under the table. She’d told both friends about Clarke’s situation in advance, but they all knew Raven wasn’t exactly known for her tact.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke decided to ignore it and merely smiled. “I <em>still</em> have Anya’s number, Raven.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bellamy returned with a smoothie. “I have no clue what this is but it’s green and that’s your favorite color, so.” He cautiously placed it in front of her, not knowing he’d accidentally picked her favorite – apple cinnamon with a touch of kiwi, and a strawberry pinned on the edge of the glass. Clarke accepted the drink with a grateful smile and folded the straw in her direction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, how are things going?” Bellamy asked as he sat down again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good,” she said, after taking a sip. “My thesis is almost ready with a month to spare, so I think I’m good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He meant, <em>with you</em>,” Raven corrected, a remark that generated her another kick from Octavia.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Clarke lied.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven took her time to glare angrily at Octavia before she said: “It’s weird, though. You two seem to be really in love.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe we should not talk about this,” Octavia started, but she was cut off by Clarke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, we should. I don’t want to be that friend around whom you have to be cautious about what you say. Regardless, I’ve accepted it. I mean, I do be in love with her and she’s just so frustrating <em>perfect </em>for me but, you know, deep down I’ve always known that she’s too good for me, so.” She took another sip from her smoothie before she added an overly optimistic “My time will come.”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Too good for you?” Raven raised her eyebrows. “Man, Clarke, what a piece of <em>bullshit</em>. Who would <em>not </em>want to be your Touch? I mean, look at you, you’re cute, you’re smart, you’re fun <em>and</em> you care more about others than about yourself.” Caught up in her investigations, Raven leaned over the table towards the blonde girl. “That burn thing,” she said with her voice more down. “What was it like? Was it something small or was it more like <em>oh my god I want to rip my arm off </em>painful?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Small,” Clarke mumbled. “More like that sparky electricity sort of thing. I don’t even know how it happened, we weren’t even that close, so I bet it’ll be awful when I would actually, like, try to take her hand or something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But are you sure it was an actual burn?” Raven went on, moving to the tip of her chair in excitement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Raven – I might not know what touching is, but that also means I’m an expert in burns, so <em>yes</em>, I’m sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This smoothie thing is surprisingly good.” Bellamy tried to change the subject, holding up his glass. He’d picked a blue one, something with berries that had the word <em>space </em>in its name. Both he and Raven were obsessed with space, but as with everything, Raven went a lot further than just watching stars through a telescope and actually wanted to become an astronaut. The young science freak was still training for pilot, but after that she swore she would – literally – take her career to the next level.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately, she was also annoyingly persistent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There’s something like static electricity as well,” she gushed. “That occurs when two objects get electrically charged by friction, for example with wool. Then they touch and <em>boom</em>.” The sound was accompanied by an overly dramatic displaying of her hands. Octavia and Bellamy cast a worried look at each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Static electricity,” Clarke repeated, skeptically arching her brow. “Life is not a physics class, Raven.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, static electricity is <em>real</em>,” she objected, slightly offended. “Look, what I’m trying to say is that you can’t be absolutely certain until you’ve experienced the actual pain.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you say I should touch her again?” The corners of Clarke’s mouth curled up slightly as she asked the question, this idea being too foolish for words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Unless you don’t want to know,” Raven mumbled, stretching the “know” as she shrugged indifferently and focused on her own space-smoothie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should touch her again,” Clarke concluded, in a thoughtful whisper that induced Octavia to give her an alarmed look.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>“What are you going to do about it?”</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln was washing glasses, accidentally hitting one into the tap every once in a while since his focus was divided between the door and the girl sitting in front of him. Octavia could arrive any minute now, perhaps with Clarke, perhaps not. Lexa had tried to act cool about it all morning, but now that eleven o’clock was skidding closer, she too kept glancing at the door and producing an awful lot of noise as she couldn’t stop nervously stirring in her already empty cup of coffee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lex,” Lincoln tried again, softly shaking his head when she only gave him a questioning look in response. “I asked what you were going to do about your… <em>situation</em> with Clarke.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You mean my pointless Crush on a person who is not my Touch?” Lexa asked, continuing the stirring until Lincoln stopped her with an annoyed sigh. She dropped the spoon into his sink with a firm throw, making water splatter all over his brand new shirt. “I’m going to forget about it,” she stated. “I still stand with what I said before – there is no such thing as real feelings for a person you cannot be with.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you do have feelings for her,” Lincoln argued.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re not real.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pretended to think deeply as he wiped a beer glass, meanwhile staring at the ceiling. “If I remember it well, you called it <em>head over heels, desperately in love with her.</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Desperately, head over heels,” Lexa corrected. “And I was just having a weak moment. It’s hard, you know, waiting for someone while everybody around you is falling in love. But Clarke isn’t the one for me and I’ve accepted that, so if she shows up, we’re going to drink a coffee <em>as friends</em> and I’m not going to think about her in any other way anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doorbell rang, a sound that made both Lincoln and Lexa whirl around. Lexa’s heart sank in her chest when she only saw Octavia, but it soared up again as Clarke appeared at a bit distance behind her, seemingly caught up in something she was reading on her phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, you,” Octavia said joyfully, not bothering to wait for Clarke and dropping the door shut behind her as she hurried over to kiss her boyfriend. Lexa got up and raced to the door, opening it just in time to let the blonde girl in. She looked up from her phone and her blank expression made place for one of those sweet smiles that immediately had Lexa blushing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, you,” the writer choked out, imitating what Octavia always said when she greeted Lincoln.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi, Lex.” Clarke studied the author up and down – she was wearing a really nice pantsuit today, one of those outfits she usually wore to signing sessions. It made her feel a little bit stupid standing there in a simple sweater with her phone still in her hands. She quickly slid the devise into the pocket of her coat and stroked some hair out of her face with her other hand – her already untidy hairstyle was completely messed up by the wind outside. <em>Yep. She definitely wasn’t good enough for this stunning woman.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aren’t you writing?” Clarke asked a little nervously, following her Crush to the bar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, yes I am,” Lexa said, pointing to her table in the corner where all her stuff were. “I’m taking a break.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, right.” Clarke smiled at Lincoln to greet him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Smoothie or cappuccino?” he asked, remembering her usual orders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cappuccino,” the blonde girl decided. “And give Lexa one of those lattes with, what is it, raspberry? I still owe her one.” She took off her coat, not realizing how badly Lexa was blushing next to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You bought books?” the brunette asked, nodding at the store bag that Clarke was holding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh. Yeah. Just some stories you’ve mentioned last time and they seemed cool so I thought I’d read them…” She bit her lip as she placed the bag on one of the bar stools for Lexa to have a look at what she’d bought. It weren’t just <em>some </em>books, but the exact three titles Lexa had picked as her all-time favorites.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You remembered?” Lexa said breathlessly, carefully tracing her finger over the cover of her favorite book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Clarke could respond, Octavia interfered. “Why don’t you two go talk about books somewhere else?” she suggested. “Before they both start to cry,” she added more silently, so that only Lincoln could hear it. He chuckled as he poured milk into the cups of both girls, this time in the form of little swans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right, okay,” Lexa stammered, putting the book back in its bag. “You go already, I’ll take care of the drinks.” The writer did her best not to let out a longing sigh when she watched Clarke depart to her – <em>their</em> – table. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lincoln leaned over the bar towards her. “You do realize she hasn’t paid yet, don’t you?” he said in a muted voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Put it on my account,” Lexa mumbled, turning around to take the tray with their drinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because if she’s two drinks behind, she has to see you twice more,” Lincoln said understandingly. “Lex, don’t even <em>try</em> to tell me that you’re not still crazy about her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut up,” Lexa grumbled, before she disappeared with the coffees. </p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>The hours passed way too quickly</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>as Clarke and Lexa told each other about their lives, the good times and the bad times, and Lexa even got Clarke to sign a beer mat for her because she argued that it wasn’t fair that Clarke had her autograph but not the other way around. Eventually it was Octavia who told them that she and Clarke should go home, in doing so violently ending their great afternoon together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Lexa said as they got up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For what? The coffee? Because I don’t know how you did it, but you <em>again</em> managed to pay everything.” Clarke wrapped her scarf around her neck. “If you’re looking for a charity project, there are more urgent cases in the world than this silly law student.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She chuckled. “No, I mean thank you for <em>you</em>. Lincoln was right, I should take more time off to talk to interesting people like you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke bit her lip. “Or just to me,” she said shyly. “I mean, if you still want me to come visit you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course I want you to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stood there a little uncomfortably, not quite knowing what to do since a simple <em>goodbye</em> felt out of place here. After a moment of hesitation, Clarke decided to just go for it and tried to give Lexa another hug. This time, however, the writer stopped her and stepped back, her lips pursed. “Uh, Clarke, uh… Maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore. I mean…” She scratched her neck while she was looking for the right words, feeling guilty when she saw the embarrassed and also slightly disappointed look on Clarke’s face. “I’m sorry,” she added quickly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, you’re right,” Clarke said. “<em>I</em> am sorry, I…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay.” Lexa gave her a friendly smile, yet on the inside her heart was breaking. She really didn’t want to be the reason this girl looked sad, she didn’t want to disappoint her. <em>God, why on earth couldn’t she just be the one for her?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their moment was ruined by Octavia and Lincoln invading the scene. “You ready?” Octavia asked Clarke, who quickly faked a happy smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good.” Octavia turned around to give Lincoln a goodbye hug – <em>God, that was painful to watch</em> – then looked at him apologetically. “Another time,” she promised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” Clarke asked, having sensed the strange atmosphere between the couple. Lincoln was already walking back to the bar, but Lexa was still standing within hearing distance when Octavia answered: “Oh, don't worry. He just asked if I wanted to stay with him tonight, but I said I couldn’t because I have to bring you home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa froze. She heard Clarke say something about calling a cab as the two friends walked out of the café. Without taking the time to think, she rushed after them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, Clarke, I promised that I wouldn’t let you down anymore so I’m going to take you home, whether or not you want it,” Octavia said resolutely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can bring you home,” Lexa interrupted, her outburst surprising herself just as much as it surprised Clarke. Octavia merely raised her eyebrows, already partly expecting this. “I have a car at my place,” Lexa explained quickly. “And I live only two blocks away, so if you just walk there with me I can bring you home and then Octavia will be able to stay with Lincoln.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The friends exchanged a glance, mostly for Octavia to check if Clarke was okay with this. When she nodded, Octavia’s face lit up. “Are you sure you want to do that? That would be really kind of you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, yeah, of course.” Lexa produced a shy smile, that was also partly happy as she knew she would get to spend some more time with her favorite blonde girl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good,” Clarke agreed, returning Lexa’s smile. The three of them went back to the café, although Octavia immediately ran over to Lincoln to tell him the great news. Luckily the tanned café owner was too busy being happy to be able to shake his head disapprovingly at Lexa, who obviously wasn’t doing a good job getting over Clarke. <em>But what did he care.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m going to get my stuff,” Lexa said to Clarke. “Wait here for me.”</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>“I thought you lived in an apartment,”</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Clarke said as she took in Lexa’s place with wide, admiring eyes. It was <em>huge</em>, certainly for a girl alone, and contained multiple floors and rooms that the writer didn’t even use and had turned into offices instead. In comparison to her own one-bedroom studio, this place was a castle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Technically it <em>is </em>an apartment,” Lexa mumbled, as if all of this wasn’t such a big deal. “Just one that covers multiple levels.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s awesome.” Clarke walked to Lexa's bookshelf, one that filled up an entire wall in the living room. Lexa watched the student run her fingers over the many book covers, gasping admiringly at the size of the shelf. She wisely decided not to tell her that this was merely a selection of her favorites, and that she had another room with the rest of her collection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you want to borrow a book or something, just ask,” Lexa said a little indifferently. She moved to the kitchen to check if she had anything that she could offer her guest, but apart from some frozen lasagna and a few cans of soda, her fridge was depressingly empty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you into action movies?” Clarke asked from the living room, apparently having arrived at Lexa’s movie collection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A little,” Lexa lied, knowing damn well that she kept another full basket of action movies under her television.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me too,” Clarke said enthusiastically. “Especially the post-apocalyptic ones – oh my god, <em>The Book Of Eli</em>, I’ve always wanted to see this one.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa smiled despite herself at how adorably cute this girl was. “We could watch it now,” she suggested as casually as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” Clarke was almost skipping with excitement, realizing all too well that Lexa owned a luxurious flatscreen television. Her recollection of their awkward moment in the café earlier made her calm down, though. “I mean, I don’t want to disturb you,” she added in a lower voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re not disturbing me, otherwise I’m alone and lonely anyway. The only problem is that I don’t really have anything to eat,” Lexa mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed. “I should really teach myself to go to the store regularly. Unless you like lasagna?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lasagna is the best invention ever,” Clarke commented, already busy taking the disc out of its case.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then lasagna it is.”</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>It was hard to concentrate on the movie,</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>especially for Lexa who knew every single detail by heart. At first they were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, a safe distance between them, scraping their trays of lasagna until no crumble was left. Halfway through the movie, however, it started raining outside and the soft patting of droplets on the windows gave them this cozy wintry feeling that gradually made them shove closer to each other, until their shoulders were touching and Lexa wrapped a blanket over their knees. They both knew this wasn’t a good idea, but as they sat there enjoying each other’s warmth, neither of them wanted to think about the consequences. For a second, Clarke even thought she would be able to live with this – careful hugs and evenings together on the couch. Who needed kissing when the person next to you was everything you wanted. But things would get a lot harder in summer, when there were no thick sweaters or blankets to cover up skin, and what would happen when one of them would meet their actual soulmate?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her thoughts completely left the movie as she glanced at Lexa’s side profile, her heart reacting with a desiring flip. The truth was that she wanted her, like actually <em>wanted </em>her, and not just as a friend or whatever this was. She wanted to cup those cheeks, kiss those lips, hold that body in her arms without needing to count how many layers would be in between them. But she didn’t just want that with <em>some </em>person, no, she wanted <em>this</em> girl, Lexa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven’s proposition crossed her mind. <em>Touch her again. You need to feel the actual pain before you can be absolutely certain.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rather automatically, Clarke put her hand on her left thigh, close to where Lexa’s was. There were only a few inches to cover before she would be able to touch her hand. It needed to be a real touch this time, no soft brushing or caressing, but of course she couldn’t just grab her either. Slowly, she moved her hand a little to the left, still thinking about how she was going to do this, but it wouldn’t hurt anybody if she would try to get a little closer...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately, Lexa noticed it, and immediately jumped up from the couch. “What are you doing?” she snarled, a lot more harsh than she’d wanted it to sound. Startled, Clarke drew her hand back and pressed it against her other hand, burying the pair of them between her knees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing,” she said, her flushed cheeks not really helping to make that explanation sound convincing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry,” Lexa said, mentally slapping herself for her exaggerated reaction – <em>again. </em>She sat back down next to Clarke, although she left more distance between them and didn’t pick up the blanket anymore. “It’s just… why?” she asked, in a softer voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke looked at her hands, still blushing intensely – <em>yup. She’d now definitely ruined everything. Good job, Griffin.</em> “I just… wanted to check something,” she mumbled quietly, returning her eyes to the screen. There was some huge fighting scene going on, but she didn’t have a clue about the plot line and nor did she care about it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke…” Lexa took a sharp breath. “You <em>know </em>I’m not your soulmate, right? I know you felt that burn too. I also would have wanted it to be different, but there’s nothing to check.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke rubbed her hands against each other as she did her best to avoid Lexa’s gaze. “Yes, I felt it. But my friend Raven said something about static electricity and-” She trailed off, feeling like a complete fool.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Static electricity? You think that was static electricity?” Lexa’s tone was unbelieving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.” Clarke sighed, then got up, not bearing this tension any longer. “Maybe I should go. I-I’m not sure if you know but I… I like you. I like you a lot, and I don’t want that to get in the way of our friendship. So maybe I should take some time to… get over you.” Those last three words were so hard to say that Clarke’s voice almost skipped. She kept her gaze down to the floor, waiting for Lexa to react.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Please say that you like me too. Please say that you also don’t understand this situation, that you want to be one hundred percent certain as well, that you don’t want me to leave…</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah. Maybe that’s better,” Lexa said quietly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke could only nod, keeping her lips tightly pressed together. Lexa didn’t get up, though, so Clarke decided to go to the corridor and wait there, as she was sure that she was going to cry if she didn’t get away from her soon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the corridor, Lexa had carelessly thrown off her bag with her manuscripts, which now lay spread all across the floor. Clarke did her best to avoid the sheets of paper as she stepped over them, careful not to read their contents because she respected Lexa’s privacy. But she couldn’t help her eye falling on a title that was a little too familiar to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>CLARKE</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She frowned, then glared at the hall behind her to see if Lexa was following her – she wasn’t. Her curiosity winning the battle, she bent down to read it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I met a girl today in the café.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>One moment I was writing, the next she was there. Just there. Talking and smiling as if she’d always been there, while I was listening to her and I couldn’t think of anything else but how much I liked this girl. I didn’t know what it was, but everything just felt right.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She was perfect.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I miss her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But I can’t miss her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She’s not my Touch.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke’s jaw dropped as she read about Lexa’s feelings for her. She stood there perplex, her eyes going over the words over and over again, even when she heard Lexa coming in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke…” The writer stopped when she saw the situation in the hall, getting slightly angry because Clarke was rifling through her stuff. Before she could say anything, however, Clarke turned around to her, clutching the sheet of paper in her trembling hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You like me,” she said, making it sound like an insult. “You’ve liked me since the very first time we met and you never told me. You didn’t even tell me <em>now</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa turned her gaze to the floor. “I didn’t want to make it worse than it is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Worse than it is?” Clarke angrily crumpled the paper, tears filling her eyes. “So you think it’s worse for me to hear that you like me back than to go home with the idea that I have the biggest Crush ever on someone who could never love me back?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s the thing,” Lexa interrupted, remaining her calm. “I <em>cannot</em> love you. I indeed thought that I had feelings for you, but they’re obviously not real, as we aren’t soulmates.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you’re giving up just like that?” Clarke’s sadness made place for some blind rage that she really wanted to stop but couldn’t. “You’re just going to pretend that nothing’s there while…” She folded the crumpled sheet of paper open again and angrily stroked it flat with her hand. “You miss me? Everything feels right? I’m <em>perfect?”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa massaged her nasal bridge. “I shouldn’t have written that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke scoffed, mouth dropping open again as she really couldn’t believe this. “<em>What?”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, don’t take it that way,” Lexa said hastily. “You <em>are </em>perfect. Just… not for me. You understand?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>More tears filled Clarke’s eyes and she knew it wouldn’t take long before she wouldn’t be able to speak anymore without making the weirdest squeaking noises. She gulped heavily and threw the sheet of paper to the floor. “No, I don’t understand,” she said in a dead voice. “I was prepared to go through fire for you. I felt bad about myself the entire time because I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. I wanted to find out how you felt about me so badly because I thought maybe we’ve felt it wrong, maybe there do be something, maybe something can grow between us if we try hard enough because <em>god, </em> I really like you that fucking much. And then I tell you how I feel and all you say is <em>yeah, maybe it’s better if you go away.</em> Do you even realize how much this hurts?” Her voice broke at the last word and a big tear rolled down her cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t want to hurt you,” Lexa said, taking a step closer to Clarke only for her to take one back. “It’s <em>because </em>I don’t want to hurt you that I didn’t tell you about my feelings, because they’re not real. They can’t be real. I’d love them to be real but things just don’t work that way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knew she’d crossed a line when she saw the look on Clarke’s face, unbelieving and hurt. “If you think about it that way, then you don’t even have to bring me home,” she said, sounding defeated. “I’ll take care of myself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde girl flung the door open, determined to get out of there as quickly as possible, but she paused when she saw that it was still raining – and not just a little bit. The streets were flooded and more rain was coming down still, the sky a dark shade of grey. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa managed to approach her from behind. “Clarke, listen, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her words made no difference. Clarke stormed into the rain without the slightest hesitation, her clothes getting soaked within a few steps. A good pouring rain shower was exactly what she could use, though, as its fresh drops mixed with the tears that were streaming down her face. She would definitely get cold later, but that was the least of her worries right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke!” Lexa yelled again, her words fading out by the roaring of the rainstorm. She deliberated her options for a moment, but then pulled the door shut behind her and ran after the blonde girl. Her feet sank deep into the puddles in the street, water drenching her socks and splattering onto her trousers. The rain filling her eyes prevented her from seeing things clear, but she knew Clarke was there, she could <em>feel</em> her being there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke.” Her last attempt sounded like a soft begging.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t get it,” a voice said right in front of her, making her realize that Clarke had stopped running, so she came to a halt as well. “You’ve written about this a hundred times, and you don’t believe in it yourself."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do believe in it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No you don’t. You’ve been shutting me out from the very first time you saw me. You think you’re smart and strong for pretending that it’s not there but I <em>know </em>it’s there, and I know you know it’s not just some fake imagined thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s there,” Lexa said. “You’re right – I don’t know why this isn’t working because to me there’s no one better than you. If I got to choose my partner, I’d choose you. I’d choose you a million times. I’ve never met anyone I care for as much as I care for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then why don’t you just <em>allow</em> it?” Clarke couldn’t hide the shiver in her voice anymore, which was partly caused by the cold and partly by her crying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because it doesn’t make sense. Why would I give my heart to you when one day you’ll find your Touch and inevitably break what we have? Because you will, once you’ve felt what it’s like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke suddenly stepped right in front of her, so close that they were breathing the same air. “Don’t you see it? Don’t you feel that we’re meant for each other?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re not-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t <em>care</em> about that stupid Touch. I did in the past, maybe even more than you, but now all I can think about is this. Us. Because <em>I love you</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t love me,” Lexa objected, though in a fainter voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t get to pick whether or not I love you.” Clarke’s anger was still growing and she forced Lexa to take steps back while was skidding closer. “I love you,” she repeated, still in that affected voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you,” Clarke yelled again, so loud Lexa was certain that everyone in the surroundings could hear her. “I-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut up.” Instead of taking another step back, Lexa put one forward and surprised Clarke by grabbing her shoulders and kissing her. Her idea was simple – with their bodies soaked to the bone, this would be so unbearably painful that it would forever stop Clarke from thinking that whatever she felt for her was right. But the electrocution Lexa was expecting didn’t come, not even when she moved her hands to Clarke’s face to touch her bare skin. All she felt was a pair of soft cheeks, wet from tears and the rain, but very real and not at all painful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke hesitantly did the same thing with her, feeling so overwhelmed that it hardly sank into her what was happening. But then she felt Lexa’s lips move against hers and her heart leapt up to her throat, making her forget about her entire rage. This was really one of those appropriate moments to say “oh my god”, but there was no time for that because <em>she was kissing Lexa and that was possible.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke eagerly answered the kiss, her hands unsure of whether to explore Lexa’s skin or to pull her in an embrace by her waist. She opted for the second thing and almost sighed with pleasure when she felt Lexa’s body firmly pressed against hers, their skins basically touching through their drenched clothes without that causing the slightest pain. Lexa grabbed Clarke tighter still, all this closeness pressing the air out of their lungs but they didn’t care and they just kissed on and on until they were both shuddering of coldness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa was the first to speak. “I can touch you,” she said, still totally breathless. “How is this possible?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe you’ve finally allowed yourself to love me,” Clarke said quietly, her hands going up to Lexa’s face again. Even though she was still upset because Lexa had given up on her so quickly, she still needed to touch her, to feel this new sensation. Maybe it was because she already had such deep feelings for Lexa, or because they just had a fight in the pouring rain, but this Touch was a million times better than she’d ever expected it to be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But we couldn’t touch, we…” Lexa dropped silent. She would love to understand this turn of events, because that was just the way she was and she couldn’t stand not knowing why all of this was happening, but deep down she was so <em>fucking glad</em> that she could touch Clarke that the reason why became totally unimportant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It wasn’t really a burn, was it?” Clarke mumbled. “Maybe Raven was right and it was just something static that startled us so much that we interpreted it as a burn.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe.” Lexa bit her lip. “You were right. I was being stupid, I… God, Clarke, I’m so, so sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke gave her a long look, while her thumbs traced Lexa’s jaw. “Don’t be,” she said slowly, a smile spreading across her face. “You’re my soulmate, why would I be mad at you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa kissed her again, her heart responding to the word <em>soulmate</em> as she knew it was true. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They went back inside hand in hand, switching sides after a few steps because their other hand got jealous. As they were both drenched and cold, Lexa gave Clarke some dry clothes of her own that she hoped would fit and sent her to the bathroom upstairs whereas she took the one downstairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a hot shower, Lexa lit the fireplace in the living room and settled on the couch with a blanket. Minutes later Clarke came in, a little hesitantly, but ever so cute.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa smiled when she saw her there in one of her favorite sweatshirts that was obviously too large for the small blonde, her hands being completely hidden from view by the long sleeves. She looked utterly adorable and Lexa seriously wondered how she could have kept her hands off her all this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Warmed up?” Lexa asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not one hundred percent,” she murmured, a shy smile curling around her lips. Lexa raised the blanket for her soulmate to join her on the couch and they snuggled up together, finally without having to be cautious. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They didn’t try to watch a movie this time, but focused on each other instead. Lexa carefully stroked Clarke’s cheek with her index finger. “I can still touch you,” she said with a smile. Her fingers went to her hair next, drawing dreamy patterns in the blonde curls while Clarke closed her eyes and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder, enjoying the touch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Isn’t this crazy?” the blonde whispered. “You dream about this your entire life and <em>this is it</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.” Lexa pressed a kiss in Clarke's hair. “And now you’re stuck with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke lifted her head to look at her, eyebrows raised. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s up to you to decide.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke bit her lip. “Well, to tell you the truth, I was dead afraid that it <em>wouldn’t  </em>be you, even before I actually met you. You have many fans as a writer, but none as committed as me. I’ve always been scared that I would be disappointed in the Touch because my soulmate wouldn’t come close to you. So no, it’s not a bad thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, <em>Clarke</em>.” Lexa pouted. “I’m going to drown myself for treating you this badly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Like hell you are,” Clarke said angrily, before she got soft again. Her fingers settled on Lexa’s chest, where she could feel her heartbeat. “No, honestly, it’s okay. I know you were also just being afraid. Otherwise you wouldn’t have shut me out after one improper burn.” She smirked before she added: “Otherwise you wouldn’t have <em>kissed</em> me while you still thought we couldn’t touch. What a reckless plan that was, Lexa Woods.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa smiled, the way Clarke said her name making a shiver run down her spine. “I must say that it turned out to be the best mistake I’ve ever made, Clarke Griffin.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke kissed her, the feeling completely new now that they were warm and dry and not as tensed anymore – well, actually they were, but in a whole other way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It started very sweet and tender, with regular interruptions to whisper loving words to each other. But as their hands got more impatient and started to roam over thighs and under sweatshirts, their heartbeats elevated and their skins got flushed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa was the first to take off Clarke’s sweater, whispering “oh my god, you’re so fucking soft,” into her ear shortly after. Clarke was the first to lie down on the couch, pulling the brunette with her as she never left her lips. They took it slow, taking the time to explore every new piece of skin while the pile of clothes on the floor gradually grew in height.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa talked her through it, her soft and reassuring whispers interacting with the blonde girl’s pleased noises as she curled up in Lexa’s warmth, where she literally couldn’t feel any safer. Clarke was quieter, but equally loving when she covered Lexa’s face and neck with kisses and guided her back down with a sincere “I’m so in love with you” whispered against her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they cuddled up together under the blanket, faces in the direction of the fireplace and Lexa’s front firmly pressed against Clarke’s back, Lexa said: “You know that I love you, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Clarke answered, her voice low so that Lexa couldn’t guess the expression on her face. “Besides, I don’t really think you have another choice.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, but I really, <em>really </em>love you,” Lexa argued, wrapping her arm tighter around Clarke’s waist. “I loved you when you told me you were a fan of me and I loved you when you hugged me in front of everyone and I loved you even more when you were yelling at me in the rain. I love you because it’s my choice to love you, and not just because I kissed you to get you to <em>shut the fuck up</em> and that accidentally happened to work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke laughed, and Lexa <em>felt </em>her laugh under her arm, and that made her laugh too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” she asked, a little confused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing.” Clarke wrapped her own arms tightly around Lexa’s. “I’m just happy, I guess.”</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>“The same as always,”</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>she asked, with that smirk around her lips that had boys falling on their knees for her, until Clarke Griffin would scowl at them and take Lexa's hand to show the world that she was hers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My ladies,” Lincoln said with a smile as he took three cups to prepare his favorite order – a raspberry flavored latte for Lexa, a hazelnut flavored cappuccino for Clarke and a mint tea for Octavia. He was careful with the first two drinks, but made sure his fingers brushed with Octavia’s when he handed her the last one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You weren’t here yesterday,” Lexa noted, studying Lincoln over the rim of her cup while she took a sip.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, just like you, I’m sometimes forced to take a day off,” Lincoln said with a not-so-mysterious glance at his girlfriend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa smirked. “God, Lincoln, you’re so cheesy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re to speak,” Lincoln fired back. “Which one of us calls people to ask them how their Touch was, you know, <em>for writing purposes</em>, and then yells I KNOW so loud that it makes your ears pop?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke choked on her coffee, while Lincoln and Octavia exchanged a meaningful grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa rolled her eyes. “I literally only did that once.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Naturally.” Lincoln skillfully juggled with three lemons, then caught them all in a jug and made a small triumphant bow before he hopped to the mixers to make some lemonade. Octavia shook her head, smirking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love him,” she said to Clarke, who still wasn’t done coughing but gave her a thumbs-up anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa got up and patted Clarke on the back to help her recover. “I suggest you die some more here, meanwhile I’m going to buy a newspaper. Maybe those slow idiots have finally woken up from their never-ending siesta,” she said, before she took off without a second word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she was gone, Octavia bowed closer to her best friend. “You didn’t know she did that?” she asked, referring to the calling thing Lincoln had teased her with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course I did,” the blonde girl said with a smirk. “But I think it’s cute. Because, you know, I love her.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look at us, huh,” Octavia smiled, after taking a sip from her tea. “Who would have thought we would end up like this when we were shopping and you suggested to drink a cup of coffee here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not me. I was only being thirsty,” Clarke joked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that moment, the doorbell rang fiercely, announcing a flabbergasted Lexa who was clutching a newspaper in her hands. “Clarke,” she said breathlessly, without taking her eyes off the page that she was reading.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke excused herself to Octavia and hurried over to her girlfriend, then peered over her shoulder at the review of her newest book. It was a novel based on their own story, although she’d nicknamed the characters “Taylor” and “Jasmin”. The reviewer had rated the book a rare five out of five stars.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Lexa said breathlessly while Clarke gave her a happy kiss on her cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve always known you were brilliant,” the blonde girl beamed. “I mean, I’m pretty sure my opportunity to doctorate is also one hundred percent thanks to your adjustments to my thesis.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa flung her arm around her and pressed a kiss in her hair. “And <em>this </em>is one hundred percent thanks to you. God, Clarke, I love you so much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke still blushed every time she said that, despite it already being their six month anniversary. They’d planned to spend the afternoon here in their favorite café, alongside their best friends, but as they stood there in the doorway, Clarke changed her mind and slid her hand into Lexa’s. “What do you think about a walk in the park and then lasagna on your couch and a crappy action movie that we won’t pay attention to?” she suggested as she placed a small kiss underneath Lexa’s ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Our</em> couch,” Lexa corrected absent-mindedly, still staring at the overly positive review in pure shock. Clarke moved in with her not so long ago, even though she already spent most of her time in Lexa’s apartment before the official relocation. “But that sounds great,” Lexa decided, finally lowering the newspaper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good.” Clarke turned around to the bar, intending to announce their plans to Octavia and Lincoln, but the pair was nowhere to be seen. She raised her eyebrows to Lexa. “Well, it’s about time we get out of here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The couple walked down the street to the park hand in hand, enjoying the light touch of each other’s soft fingers while rays of sunlight colored their skin brown and the air smelled like summer. By the corner of the block, Lexa took Clarke by surprise by pinning her against a wall. The blonde squealed at first, but then chuckled as she lovingly stroked her lover’s hair back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re sort of standing in the middle of a busy street here, honey,” she said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you think that holds me back?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They leaned in at the same time, and then they were tasting a mix of raspberry and hazelnut as their lips molded into one another, and Lexa remembered thinking this tasted like a story before she closed her eyes and lost herself in her soulmate’s touch.</p>
<p> </p>
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